The beach is no place for me.

There's a cardinal rule that you don't talk about sharks. If you don't see it, it's not there. -Mark Warkentin                                            
                                                    


What the ocean looks like to most people:                   What the ocean looks like to me:
                               


Perhaps this has become slightly redundant, but I hate the ocean. I don't even like the sand part beach. I stand there like an awkward child whose family left her to go back home to Kentucky. Whilst there, I am trapped on a blanket that I inspect at all times. There is no rest at the beach, for I am tirelessly checking my surroundings.
As I've probably said before, as a child, and even now, Animal Planet is my life. When I was younger, instead of staying up late to watch Robot Chicken or something else I probably wasn't supposed to, I watched Animal Planet.
Thank you, AP, for ruining my childhood and ability to enjoy the ocean.
I should say also that, even today when special effects are much more realistic, Jaws scares the bejesus  out of me. The moment I step foot in the ocean into the ocean, the music starts playing.
The most frightening part to me, I suppose, is the fact that we aren't at the top of the food chain in the ocean. We really aren't even close. On land, I have a good amount of control of what happens to me. In the water, I don't. There are tons of things there that I could be completely unaware of.
For example, jellyfish. If jellyfish are present, then I'm probably Dory from Finding Nemo. If fish are present, I stare them down and move away from them as quickly as possible. If I can't touch the bottom of the ocean, I'm going back. If I can't see the bottom of the ocean, I'm not going in. If you ask me if I want a boogie board, I'm going to respond with, "No, thank you, I choose life." I will not be mistaken for a seal at any encounter with a shark, should I have one.
Having said that, I should say that, yes, every single thing in the ocean does scare me. There was a random unknown fish in the ocean last time I went in, and it rammed into my leg multiple times. I suppose it smelt the fear that I probably reeked of, because it continued to do this as I ran out of the ocean and onto land.
True story.