Eyeballz

What is an eyeball? Is it a ball of eye? If you took it out of your head, would it bounce? Would it break? Its really more shaped like an egg. They should call it an eye-egg. Or instead of eggs, call them eggballs. What color is the inside of the eyeball? Would it split evenly down the middle, or have some nasty gooey stuff fall out of the middle? These are things I don't want to know.

I hate eyeballs. Sometimes I even spell it with a 'Z' because it looks more menacing that way (see above). Ever since I've been able to forget, I have been terrified of the eyeball. WHY? I have no idea. I mean, I'm not scared of basketballs or footballs or tennis balls or meatballs or balls of skin or soccer balls. It doesn't make sense.

I guess there is just something grotesquely awry about the eyeball that makes it such a menace to my well-being. The gushy-ness of the eyeball and the ease with which it is penetrated makes me sick. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem putting my contacts in, its just when I touch the bare ball of the eye or I see someone doing something weird with their eyes does my liver quiver. I don't know why, but it just does. So, if I ever make you mad, just hold me down and poke one of our eyeballs until I cry out of them.