Blog Post #9--My Biggest Irrational Fear

Prompt:
Explain what scares you the most and why.

There are a couple of things that come to my mind when people ask me what I'm scared of:  natural disasters and passing out.  I've been scared of natural disasters (i.e. hurricanes, tornadoes, etc.) since I can remember; I have no clue why, as I've never really been completely involved in one.

However, for passing out, I have plenty of reasons to be terrified.

Most people think that it's a weird thing to be afraid of, which I completely understand if they've never experienced it before.  I've passed out five times in my life--five more times than I really wanted.  Each time just really freaked me out.

The first time it happened, I was in sixth grade, and--thankfully--in the nurse's office at school.  It was so strange, not knowing what had happened or where I was after it had happened.  I don't really know how to describe the sensation, but afterwards I felt cold and empty (for any Harry Potter fans, it feels sort of like a dementor had just attacked).

I'm not just going to sit here and type out what happened each time I've passed out; you'd probably get bored.  No matter the circumstances, they've all felt the same:  the light-headed feeling and spotted vision that occurs beforehand, the weird dreams I sometimes have when I'm out, and the awful (dementor?) sensation that I have after it's over.

The worst part of all of it is that light-headed feeling (mentioned above) that happens to me a lot.  I'm not exaggerating.  If anyone even mentions passing out, or if I'm in a doctor's office, or even if there are flashing lights all around me, that feeling overtakes my mind.  I can think of nothing else but the feeling of blood draining from my head straight to my feet.  When this happens, I'm only thinking one thought:  Will this be the sixth time?  Is it happening right now?  It terrifies me.  I feel dizzy and completely powerless.

I'm sorry if that doesn't make any sense whatsoever.  But honestly, I kind of need to end this post because I'm scared that it's going to happen right now.