Hello, I’m Tristy Trival here with
your five o’ clock news. We have many exciting stories here for you today.
First off, police arrested a man
today who rammed into the side of a Budweiser truck causing a massive fire that
has New Circle blocked. Not only was the car driver drunk, but he also had Marijuana
and Cocaine in his system. He must have had the Cocaine in his car because when
the police arrived at the scene bags of Cocaine covered the street. There were
several weapons in his car as well. The truck driver was angered saying that “the
police should be better at catching the *#)^@##%$ before it is too *$&#)
late. We now have a huge amount of (%#)* Budweiser wasted. Don’t forget the
truck. Oh, the *#(%*#) truck is ruined and burned. For the love of God, I am
going to #%(#(_^ sue his sorry @%^ until he has nothing else to live for.” That
fire should be cleaned up within the next five hours.
Next, the chief of the local police
force had an affair with his secretary. It had been going on for five years
before his wife caught them last night. She could not believe what was happening but, she does plan
to stay with her beloved husband.
Peace has been declared in the
conflict between Israel and Gaza. After 200 people died in explosions Israel…
Wait say that again. Yes. Yes. No way…
Breaking News: Molly Circus’ dog was just killed on 5th street in New York City. She
was driving around the city with her fiancé when Sparky jumped out the window.
Sadly, the Ferrari who hit the poor creature had no to time to stop and plowed
right through him. Poor Molly.
That is all for the 5 o’clock news.
Make sure you return for the 8 o’clock news where we will announce our results from the recent murder of La-a
Longbute. I'm Tristy Trival, have a nice day.
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