too hot to handle

Gosh, I’m so hot. I’m so hot that people freak out when they see me so hot. So hot that I attract the worn down people of winter. So on fire that when you touch me, you never want to leave. When you sleep with me, you never (ever) want to get up. I’m so stinking hot that I make the whole room a little (or a lot) warmer. I make Meredith’s mom cringe when she sees my light go on. You can turn me all the way up or just a little (most prefer me at my highest level).

You can’t wash me because I’m basically too cool (heh) for that and it’d get rid of my hotness. I’ve actually been known to cause fires. All the others of my type are jealous because they can’t even compare to how much everyone wants me.

Only the crazies like Meredith still use me in the middle of summer, but that’s alright with me because when you want me, you really want me. When the heat in your house is set at 65 degrees, you can count on me to keep you hot too.

You can see me, I’m electric! You gotta feel me, I’m electric! Oooh, I’m warmin, I’m electric!You gotta know me, I’m electric! Boogie woogie, woogie! Now you can hold me, I’m electric! Boogie woogie, woogie! But you know I’m there, yeah, here, there, everywheeeeeere. Are you comin with me? Come let me take you on heat wave. And I’ll warm you, warm you, warm you. I’ll show you the electric siiiiide.

(Electric Blanket Slide, Copyright 2012, Meredith Scroggin)