Spoons

As I lay here in the drawer I try wiggle my way to the bottom of the stack because I would rather stay in this drawer for the rest of my life that be put in someone's nasty mouth. It's pretty hard getting to the bottom when all of the other spoons are intent about doing the same thing as me. Like, c'mon guys why can't I just get a day off and stay in the drawer for once! But of course that isn't how it works. I start to hear commotion outside my drawer and I pray that they do not need a spoon. But, unfortunately two seconds later the drawer starts to open and they reach for me. No, no, no, nooo, NOOOO! Why me!! I am then slammed into a bowl of cereal. I hate getting dirty but I hate taking baths so why can't I just stay clean! Of course that never happens. I slowly begin to be picked up and put into someone's mouth. Man is it nasty in here, I mean seriously when was the last time you brushed your teeth! After this happens over and over again they throw me into the dishwasher. I hate dishwashers they spray water and soap right in your face and then they proceed to get extremely hot and it feels like I am melting. Later on in the day the dishwasher starts and I have to sit through an hour and a half of torture. When it is finally over they put me back in the drawer and I get to wait for the same thing to happen tomorrow. Man life as a spoon sucks!