I have been all over the world with Alyssa. Of course, why
wouldn’t she take me? Let’s be honest here, without me she looks like a mess. I
can take those limp looks and turn them into voluminous tresses within a matter
of minutes. But because Alyssa is, let’s say less informed, it takes about ten
times as long for her.
And she blames me for burns! Beauty is pain and the heat
does what the heat wants. Besides, it’s not really even me she burns herself
on. It’s her own hair! Come on, you learn not to touch the pan on the stove
because the stoves heats the pan and the pan gets hot. It’s the same gosh darn
concept for me too! Don’t touch your hair right after you straighten or curl it
because you’re just asking for trouble.
Speaking of curling, I am bifunctional. Not only do I
straighten Alyssa’s hair, I curl it too. She’s much too lazy to go out and get
a real curler and I’ve got a few tricks up my barrel. A couple twists and
badabing badaboom, curlz fo dayz. Did you see her hair that one day that one
time? That’s me and my doing. Isn’t it fab? She’s tried doing those “heatless
curl” fad that’s been going around, but let’s face it. I’m too good for her not
to use. After she does her little experiments it looks like she’s shaved off a lion’s
mane and plopped it onto her head. Not cute.
I live in this fabulous little zip up case. It’s so chic. It’s
black and white and Alyssa spruced it up with a ribbon when the zipper tassel
fell off. I love it so every much. Plus, it makes me feel special. I’m not like
that ancient Hello Kitty hair dryer she has that spends its days on the floor
or on her shelf or her brush that she loses 24/7. Yea, I’m the bombdiggity.
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