Fears- socialization
Annoyances- extroverts who are obnoxious
Accomplishments- Laziest person in the world. Good grades, I guess, but the laziness trumps that, in my opinion.
Confusions- extroverts
Sorrows- the death of fictional characters
Dreams- Getting to go to LeakyCon every year for the rest of my life
Idiosyncrasies- obsessive
Risks- wanting to go to Scotland for college
Beloved Possessions- Then (and now pretty much): my blankey. Now: Harry Potter paraphernalia
Problems- motivation
I could go on and on about how dejected and morose I can be when I think about some of my favorite fictional characters' deaths, but I will not bore you with my ramblings on about how JK Rowling is a cruel person for murdering all her characters.
Confusion:
Yes, I don't understand extroverts. I've even spent long hours evaluating them to try and decipher their actions. I just can't seem to understand why a person would willingly want to start up a conversation with someone they don't even know very well. I've had to spend my whole life telling people that, "No, I'm not lonely sitting here by myself," and "No, I would not like to come sit with you." That's always been one of my pet peeves. Any time I've been in a social-type situation where I happen to be without my friends (i.e. second lunch when my friends all have first), I end up sitting by myself. I don't think I look pathetic and lonely, because I'm not, but that's what it must appear to other people. I can't count the number of times that people that I kind-of know have approached me to inquire if something was wrong with me or if I wanted to come sit with them. That's the thing that confuses me about extroverts. In their mind, they can't seem to fathom why a person would just want to be alone, when I don't mind it, and in fact, take pleasure in being all by my lonesome.
I also don't understand how people can carry on conversations so flawlessly with people that they are only acquaintances with. I am really only able to speak comfortably with people whom I know exceedingly well, like my best friend or my family. It truly gives me anxiety to think about having to socialize with people that I'm not very familiar with. Sometimes I am even uncomfortable being alone with my own brother because I don't know what to say to him occasionally. I suppose that is why I take such pleasure in staying home reading rather than going out and being with my peers.
Occasionally I try to observe extroverts to see how they carry on conversations and what they say to one another, but I can't seem to grasp the technique of socialization. There was one specific day last year, after school, when I just observed my best friend, Annie Bradford, whom I deem to be an extrovert, having a chat with Cullen Smith. They are fairly close friends, but I still couldn't imagine how they were carrying on their conversation. This is how it went:
Annie: "Cullen, did you get a haircut?"
Cullen: "No, not recently."
Annie: "Oh. Well then did you get a new head? You look different."
Cullen: "Not to my knowledge, no."
Like it was the most normal thing in the world to be discussing Cullen's swap in heads. I never would have even thought to say something like that. I guess you just have to be born a socialite. It was then that I asked Annie to teach me her knowledge in conversing. I don't think it has particularly worked.
Well, now ends my ramblings on about that subject.
Annoyances- extroverts who are obnoxious
Accomplishments- Laziest person in the world. Good grades, I guess, but the laziness trumps that, in my opinion.
Confusions- extroverts
Sorrows- the death of fictional characters
Dreams- Getting to go to LeakyCon every year for the rest of my life
Idiosyncrasies- obsessive
Risks- wanting to go to Scotland for college
Beloved Possessions- Then (and now pretty much): my blankey. Now: Harry Potter paraphernalia
Problems- motivation
I could go on and on about how dejected and morose I can be when I think about some of my favorite fictional characters' deaths, but I will not bore you with my ramblings on about how JK Rowling is a cruel person for murdering all her characters.
Confusion:
Yes, I don't understand extroverts. I've even spent long hours evaluating them to try and decipher their actions. I just can't seem to understand why a person would willingly want to start up a conversation with someone they don't even know very well. I've had to spend my whole life telling people that, "No, I'm not lonely sitting here by myself," and "No, I would not like to come sit with you." That's always been one of my pet peeves. Any time I've been in a social-type situation where I happen to be without my friends (i.e. second lunch when my friends all have first), I end up sitting by myself. I don't think I look pathetic and lonely, because I'm not, but that's what it must appear to other people. I can't count the number of times that people that I kind-of know have approached me to inquire if something was wrong with me or if I wanted to come sit with them. That's the thing that confuses me about extroverts. In their mind, they can't seem to fathom why a person would just want to be alone, when I don't mind it, and in fact, take pleasure in being all by my lonesome.
I also don't understand how people can carry on conversations so flawlessly with people that they are only acquaintances with. I am really only able to speak comfortably with people whom I know exceedingly well, like my best friend or my family. It truly gives me anxiety to think about having to socialize with people that I'm not very familiar with. Sometimes I am even uncomfortable being alone with my own brother because I don't know what to say to him occasionally. I suppose that is why I take such pleasure in staying home reading rather than going out and being with my peers.
Occasionally I try to observe extroverts to see how they carry on conversations and what they say to one another, but I can't seem to grasp the technique of socialization. There was one specific day last year, after school, when I just observed my best friend, Annie Bradford, whom I deem to be an extrovert, having a chat with Cullen Smith. They are fairly close friends, but I still couldn't imagine how they were carrying on their conversation. This is how it went:
Annie: "Cullen, did you get a haircut?"
Cullen: "No, not recently."
Annie: "Oh. Well then did you get a new head? You look different."
Cullen: "Not to my knowledge, no."
Like it was the most normal thing in the world to be discussing Cullen's swap in heads. I never would have even thought to say something like that. I guess you just have to be born a socialite. It was then that I asked Annie to teach me her knowledge in conversing. I don't think it has particularly worked.
Well, now ends my ramblings on about that subject.
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